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>>846164
I believe you
Could have chosen cuter characters tho? Altho I'm a dude so cute girls always win for me. But it seems like also for all the artists regardless of male or female - anime *girls* is where it's at. I mean some guys do guys, but a very small minority.
Are you bi? Also does all these fantasies have anything to do with sexuality or is it just the cute and innocent vibe for you?
>that even when I consciously am working against it still dominates
Obviously haven't done many psychedelic drugs, cuz you would have learned some things. This is not how it works bro. If you fight against something it's the same as invoking it. You give it energy, whether affirmative or trying to deny it or suppress it, you're giving it energy. You've got to own it. And then simply make a choice whether or not you want to embrace that in your life and if you don't and you're honest with yourself you simply put your attention on things that you are more interested in or passionate about. And do it on a moment by moment basis, otherwise how could you be honest with yourself? It might take a little bit of self-examination, but the alternative is making purely a cerebral decision and then having its surface one way or another anyway because you were dishonest internally.
But if I'm going to be completely honest with you, I think your autism might be your superpower. You just don't know how to wield it yet. I don't know how it can serve you, but I'm pretty sure that it can.
I could point out more places where you write about it in a way that doesn't sound healthy at all in terms of your attitudes, but hey if you're in your early twenties, you're allowed to be dumb about it. It's just that is going to cause you a little bit of pain if you keep framing these things in these negative ways and I understand that you are not aware of alternatives, but you know, dig around in your mind a little bit. Don't make it too dramatic, try to meditate a bit as you contemplate it. Don't jump to conclusions, allow answers to come up naturally.
I happen to be mostly the manly man already in my early 30s... So for me it's not an option. I still have a teen build, but mostly because I'm tall and low fat... I suppose I'd like to hold on to this a bit longer but idk bro.. the cutsey teen looks was never even an option for me, I have a very masculine facial structure and build. But congrats if you still have that. Cute girls are a trip for sure. Cute guys... I wouldn't complain if I was one. Other than perhaps a lack of strength and speed. I love doing physical stuff and anything outdoors... Females have no idea what our bodies feel like... If you have the energy to train...
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